Cast your cares...

For those who read my last post, and even to those who didn't, I want to acknowledge that there are so many more wonderful caring people who get the whole food allergy thing than there are who either don't get it or just don't care.

I spoke to the mum of the child who vomited over Cohens school bag today. She was so apologetic, although I don't know her that well, from what I do know she is a really nice person. There was no hard feelings on my part, a child can't direct which way their vomit falls.
Although, I must say that my 'weird' child has been known to hold his vomit inside his mouth until he reaches an appropriate vessel to expel on more than one occasions. This post is far reaching new depths of low now. Sorry, I will get off the sick topic, promise but please keep reading.

After speaking to her today though, I seriously wanted to kiss her. Ok, so now I'm sounding weird. If you have followed my journey the past 5 years, you will understand the battles we have had and why I say that I wanted to kiss her. I felt such an overwhelming gratitude to her that my eyes teared up.

Yep, I'm an emotional person at the best of times and maybe you are too. Raising a child who is so vulnerable at any given moment has to tug at the heartstrings of a mum. What I don't get is why the heck it hits you while in conversation in the middle of a kids athletic carnival, (always at the most inappropriate times). Rarely, at home when you're by yourself. Anyway, I'm assuming I kept it underwraps, sunglasses were invented for a purpose. Clenching your teeth works well too.

I assured her that it was fine, the only concern the teacher and myself had was that Cohen may be exposed to what her child had eaten. She told me that she never gives her child peanut butter during the week. I must have had a blank look on my face which made her explain further. She knew her son and mine play together and are really good friends so she makes sure her son doesn't have any trace of peanuts on him. He never has peanut butter on his toast of a morning, unless it's the weekend.
Can you understand my emotions, I'm getting a lump in my throat now.

Further to that, at school dropoff this morning, another mum came up to me so excited. She bursts out that she found a chocolate that contains only cocoa and coconut oil with no nuts. I misunderstood her and was assuming that she was trying to inform me, which incidentally was really thoughtful.  
For those of you who know my story, I've been making Cohen chocolate for years (although the Easter bunny gets all the credit).  I thanked her and we continued talking. She said I can now make sandwiches for my daughter that she will eat as she loves Nutella. Wow, was I humbled in an instant. Another mum who cares and is putting my son's health in front of her own childs wants.

A time of honesty with you, because if you are reading this, more than likely you have a child with serious allergies too and you understand how hard it can be sometimes. I have been battling depression since our last test results showed no improvement in 3 years. I don't have a support family group who I can turn to, I live at least 4 hours drive from my closest family member. I tend to withdraw and keep my feelings to myself, (unless I can display my emotions in a public place like a school athletics carnival or a crowded supermarket, or out there in cyberspace).  I've been feeling quite isolated and basically feeling sorry for myself lately.

Whether you believe in God or not, I know myself He is telling me today that I'm not alone. It might feel like I am sometimes. Just like it might feel like you are alone sometimes. Raising a child is hard enough. Raising a child with serious food allergies can be the most loneliest, isolated of places. Even if you have a great support network, it can still be a very dark place. I want you to know that You are not alone. You have a God who loves and cares about you and your child.

Psalm 55:22 says
" Cast your cares on the LORD,  and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."

I pray everyday that my children will be protected by Gods angels. I truly believe they are. If I didn't I'd be going to school repeating kindergarten too. Sometimes, you can't see angels. Sometimes they take the form of other mothers who go out of their way to minimise your child's risk. Sometimes they take the form of teachers who somehow have multiple sets of eyes and ears.
 However it all works I just know that I know. I am starting to realise that I do have support network. They may not take the form of my family. They do, however take the form of new friends.

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